Go Deep

We all have a variety of methods for avoiding confrontation. One common technique is to consistently change our outer circumstances (e.g., who we interact with, where we live, where we work, where we shop, where we practice yoga, etc.). By re-arranging things at the surface of life, we are not really changing. It’s like re-arranging your furniture, taking a step back to look at the room and saying, “There! Now my life will be different.” When we heroically confront ourselves, we are making shifts on a deeper level, we are changing the way we relate to ourselves. This will automatically change the way that we relate to others and create meaningful shifts in our outer circumstances.

This is something you can experience in your body. Though the following examples are offered in the context of a yoga class, you do not have to be doing yoga to embody change under the surface. This week, in our exploration of connecting with a deeper layer of being and creating the yoga poses from that place, I asked my classes to sit still and feel their skin (the surface of their being) soften around them. Then, to feel their breath move through them under the surface. In each pose, I had folks feel their breath, feel their muscles and be mindful of how their inner bodies were affecting, informing and changing the surface. For example, if you stand up and take a breath in, you will notice that your armpits and chest naturally lift. You’re not forcing yourself to stand up straighter, but you do because your breath creates a shift on the surface.

Anyone can randomly move their body in space or attempt to make a specific shape with their body, but that doesn’t mean something is happening under the surface. When we are paying attention, feeling our breath and using our muscles, there is a great deal happening underneath the surface of the yoga pose. The outer pose will shift and refine and expand because of what’s happening underneath. When we confront ourselves and make shifts in our awareness, our outer lives will naturally change.

What helps you create inner shifts? Please share in the comments? On the homepage? Click here to comment.

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AHY004: Non-Violent Communication and Awareness

What you say and how you say it matters; however, we’re not always aware of what’s coming out of our mouths. Communication is an area of life that provides us with ample opportunity for recognizing and heroically confronting our own patterns (especially reactivity and defensiveness). When we take a moment to pause before speaking and to think about what our communication partner is actually feeling/needing, we give our natural, reactive tendencies time to dissolve, allowing us to respond from a place of compassion. This is NOT easy, but so worth it, as it has such a powerful effect on our interactions and relationships with others and with ourselves.

I’m pleased to share this interview with Bobbi Ewing, a serious student of non-violent communication. In this episode, you will learn…

1) How non-violent communication can be an extension of your yoga practice (or other mindfulness practice)
2) How our past relationships and patternings affect how we communicate
3) Why listening to your body is important in communication

Share your thoughts about the episode in the comments below and let us know what types of things you’d like to learn about in future Awakened Heart Yoga podcast episodes.

Click to tweet this quote: Our history shapes the way we receive someone else’s message @erin_goldman via Bobbi Ewing, non-violent communication

Show Notes:
Non-Violent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg
Non-Violent Communication Classes (Seattle Area)
Bobbi’s blog post about her NVC experiences/learnings
Subscribe to Awakened Heart Yoga (it’s free)

Podcast: Play in new window | Download | Embed

Saturday

A New Person. Tea. Anxious. Relaxed. Anxious. Relaxed. Anxious. Relaxed. Conversation. High School. Work. Age. Helping. The Moon. Neurotransmitters. Dogs. The Source. Meditation. Eyes. Freedom. Responsibility. Freesponsibility. Initiation. The Elements. A Sailboat Sketch. Ice Cream. Walking. Crossing the Street. Curious. Cautious. Curious. Cautious. Curious. Cautious. Parents. Past Love. Near Death Experiences. Pine Cones. Andy Goldsworthy. A Garage Sale. 1960′s Playboy Magazines. A Three-Legged Cat. Walking. Lambs Ear. Roommates. Connections. Forgiveness. Anxious. Relaxed. Anxious. Relaxed. Anxious. Relaxed. A Hug. More to come…

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Are you trying to escape?

This morning I took a very different kind of yoga class from a very different kind of yoga teacher. It was an opportunity to put heroic confrontation into practice and a reminder that different is good. About ten minutes in, I felt super irritated by the style of the class and wanted to bolt. I quickly realized that I was only irritated because it’s not what I’m used to and that if I try to escape every time I feel irritated or challenged, I’m never going to get anywhere. So I stayed and sat with my irritation and eventually it dissolved and I could be present in my body and enjoy the class and the teacher and what they had to offer. Even though the class was missing the heart-centered theming and philosophy that I have come to love about the style of yoga I typically practice, I found the class to be quite valuable. Exploring different styles of yoga (or different styles of anything that you do) is an excellent way to stir up tendencies, irritation, insecurities, etc and an excellent opportunity to courageously confront them. Different is good even if it’s not good.

Now, it’s your turn. Share one thing that comes up for you when you try something different (in the comments). On the homepage? Click here to comment.

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3 Questions You Should Be Asking Yourself

Here’s a BIG MYTH: Yoga and meditation are an escape. In fact, they are quite the opposite. Sincere practice is an opportunity to face, rather than to run away from, our own limitations. It is an opportunity to recognize our own judgment, fear, defensiveness, anger, insecurity, doubt, jealousy and ignorance. It is a “courageously sustained commitment to stand in the fire of transformation” (Paul Muller-Ortega). It is a conscious choice to choose change. So when you’re practicing, here are…

3 Questions to Ask Yourself:
1) Is this emotion/pattern/tendency enhancing my life or damaging it?
2) What is this really about? (e.g., excessive judgment of others may be about needing to cultivate more self-love)
3) Am I trying to distract myself from an uncomfortable emotion or situation?

Do you have another question that you find to be particularly helpful? Please share in the comments. On the homepage? Click here to comment.

Click to tweet this quote: Practice is a courageously sustained commitment to stand in the fire of transformation -Paul Muller-Ortega @erin_goldman

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